Love the Process

Having a baby changes your body. I have stretch marks that look like a map all over my tummy. I have diastasis recti where my muscles separated while I was pregnant because I had a pretty unhealthy pregnancy with undiagnosed gestational diabetes and gained probably sixty pounds instead of the recommended 35.  And saggy skin, which gets more droopy as I find some pounds and inches melting off. 

I remember after having Matthew I would just sit in the bathroom and look at the war zone that was my body. I was in awe of the difference that having a child makes on your life, emotions, and body. For a long time there I was disappointed in who I was and how I looked. I was never going to be the girl I was before Matthew. But today, I’m damn proud of the progress I have made both physically and internally.

I’ll never have rock hard abs and I’ll probably always have a roll over my jeans. But WHO CARES! I certainly have gotten to a point where I don’t because I am in such a better place than I ever was. When the focus is on the RESULTS you desire, then the changes you’ve made to get those results don’t seem to last. However, when you really focus on the changes you are making, and WHY you are making them – the process of getting healthy, that’s when those results stick for the long term. If I can do this, you can, too. You just have to make a decision and never look back.

Getting healthy is HARD, but being unhealthy is hard, too. YOU have to decide which hard you want in your life.  I will say for certain that the small (and sometimes large!) joys on the hard journey to getting healthy are much more rewarding than feeling trapped in a body and mind you don’t love. Have FAITH in yourself and your ability to be who YOU want to be! Never EVER give up on yourself. YOU are worth the investment.

Who or What is your Enemy?

As I sat in church today and listened to the message the pastor gave, I felt like he was speaking to me and me alone.  See the message was about loving our enemies. That is an insanely difficult concept to comprehend. How can we love others who have done us wrong? I however, was not thinking about how I could love other people who have slighted me. No, I was thinking that my enemy is my very own self.

We are our own worst critics.  Women are often times the worst when it comes to shaming the way we look, the way we feel, the way we parent, the way we handle marriage, or the way we handle friendships.  I am my own worst critic when it comes to the way I parent, the way I tend to my house,  how I eat, when I exercise, and even put guilt on myself because I certainly am not the mom that I thought I was going to be.

So if I am my own enemy, how do I fix this? This is what I was thinking in church. How do I get myself to the point where I am not my own enemy? How do I live authentically and wholeheartedly myself? I know for one thing, it’s listening to what God knows is best for me. I love the bible verse and it was the one the pastor shared today that really got me thinking: 1 Samuel 16: 7 “The Lord doesn’t see things the way YOU see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I find such POWER in those words because I know that God knows what is in my heart, and He will help me defeat what I perceive as my enemies. I feel like as a woman I frequently worry about my outward appearance and judge myself for the way I look, even as I lose weight, that ENEMY that the pastor was talking about keeps coming forth.

I know that for me to have a healthy heart, life, outward appearance, and relationships the first person I need to work on is myself.  If you allow the seeds of hate to be planted in your heart, those seeds will continue to grow – and many of us have MANY seeds of hate that we have created over the years about our bodies, relationships, and mind – what we need to do is take action to release those notions we’ve created. I work on myself by reading daily scripture and personal development in order to build confidence in myself and find peace in my heart.  Devoting time everyday to my health by exercising and eating healthy foods helps squash those issues of disliking my outward appearances and to bring my inner confidence to show on the outside. Spending time playing with my husband and child diminish that enemy that tells me I’m not an adequate wife or mother. Taking nights off from being at home to spend time connecting with friends helps me keep balance in my life as a wife, mom, and friend.

I know I have a lot of growing to do to keep my own enemy out of my mind. I hope that by reading this it has helped you discover who or what your enemy is. I hope it helps you realize that it's okay to not be adequate in all that you do. God knows what is in your heart and He will always honor his promise to you that you will be provided for. My prayer for you is that you discover ways to create a healthy heart that doesn’t harbor hate for anything in your life.

Progress is progress no matter how small

My 30 day results are in! I didn't include all of my measurements, but I am down a total of 17 inches and 5.8 pounds. I am at the lowest weight I have been since college which means I am pretty happy with my progress with Insanity Max:30 so far. Throughout the month I had one pretty rough week that set me back, and a few missed days, but overall I followed the workout schedule and did my diet as clean as possible.

This program has pushed me harder than I have EVER worked. I LOVE the concept of trying to beat your weekly max out time for each workout. It does something mentally that makes you want to be better than you were last time. I don't see as many changes in my abdominal area other than loss of inches, but looking at my biceps and muscles starting in my back, makes me see how my body is truly going through a transformation.

Pregnancy does crazy things to a body, and so does years of horrible eating. I will always have a cushy pad of post-pregnancy whatever around my belly, and my stretch marks (thank goodness you can't see them in the picture!) aren't going anywhere. However, every time I take a progress picture I am impressed with how much stronger I get after each program I do. I am not exercising to become a skinny-minny with ripped abs (although it would be fun), I am exercising because it is good for me. I'm exercising to ward off future health problems, and to hopefully have a healthier future pregnancy than last time.

I start Insanity Max:30 month 2 next week and plan to be even more disciplined with my diet to see what my body is really capable of doing! I heard month 2 is pretty intense, so I'm excited for a new challenge!!

Focus on TODAY

I don't know about you, but I can definitely get caught up in focusing on the "whens." When I have a bigger house, when I lose the weight, when we have another child. Focusing on all of those unknowns can be exhausting and can definitely make me lose sight of the wonderful things I have going on in my life TODAY.

Focusing too much on what is going to happen tomorrow can lead you to feeling overwhelmed, and can actually end up making you feel less happy. Part of being confident and positive in your daily life is focusing on what you have that is going well. We all have struggles in our daily life, but God also provides us with a lot of wonderful things, too! Maybe all you have to focus on today is good health, or a stable job and that is OKAY. Know that you can start steps to bring more happy and positive things into your life at any time, you just have to start.

So my friends, take a moment and look around at what you have surrounding you and see how AMAZING it truly is!

First Month of Insanity Max:30

Holy smokes has this month flown by! I was back to work teaching the minds of our future after the holiday, and 100% committed to Insanity Max:30 and my nutrition. I’ve recently read the book “The Primal Blueprint” by Mark Sisson and am following it pretty well. I have drastically cut my grain-based carbohydrates this month, and to be honest, I’m not missing them! This is HUGE for me to say because I am known in my family for only eating white mushy foods (bread, pasta, pizza, pasta, bread, potatoes). My meals this month have consisted of dark berries (cherries and blueberries), lots of nuts, avocados, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, and lean meats.

As for my workouts, Insanity Max:30 is super challenging, but the feeling of accomplishment I get once I complete a workout is SO satisfying! I have never been challenged this hard before in a workout program, and I love the concept of “maxing out.” For those of you who are not familiar with the program, it’s a 30 minute intense workout that is designed for you to fail. Once you can’t possibly go any longer and have to take a break, that is considered your “max out” time. I have only been doing the modified versions of the program so far, and I am feeling sore muscles where I didn’t even know I HAD muscles. As crazy as it is to say, it feels so good!

I will be posting my 30 day progress pictures next week. I’m happy with my results so far. My energy is through the roof and am LOVING the new muscles forming in my arms, and seeing my post-pregnancy belly that has been hanging around slowly diminishing! I can’t wait to start month 2 of Insanity Max:30 next week! I’m sure I’m in for a whole new level of craziness!

Meal Plan for January 11th - January 17th

I'm so excited for this week's plan of eating. I had so much energy last week and because I had everything planned out and ready to go, I didn't sabotage my goals. I know that in order to live the fulfilling life I desire I need to keep my nutrition in check.

Food has always been a struggle for me. What I've learned is you need to figure out when you want to make bad choices. I know that I will be more apt to make a poor choice with food when I'm over tired, and stressed out. With my long commute to and from work, I tend to get pretty stressed out about how I am going to get done all that needs to get done. This then brings on trips through the drive through and bingeing on french fries or cookies, or pizza, man do I love pizza.

So my meal plan for the week is pretty simple. I tried adding avocado into my plan last week and it was an epic FAIL. It just didn't satisfy me at all, and I felt like it got wasted. However, my plan of adding in mixed nuts was an epic SUCCESS! I was a bit nervous about cutting out all of my carbs via grains. Turns out I didn't miss them at all because I had plenty from the fruits I had been eating!

I had weight loss success and energy success, so I'm taking what works and running with it!

Meal Plan for Sunday, January 11, 2015 to Saturday, January 17th
	Sun	Mon	Tues	Weds	Thurs	Fri	Sat
B-Fast	2  eggs w/ Blueberries	2  eggs w/ Blueberries	2  eggs w/ salsa Blueberries	2  eggs w/ salsa Blueberries	2  eggs w/ Blueberries	2  eggs w/ salsa Blueberries	2  eggs w/ salsa Blueberries
Snack	Mixed Nuts	Mixed Nuts and raspberries	Mixed Nuts and pear	Mixed Nuts and pear	Mixed Nuts and pear	Mixed Nuts and Raspberries	Mixed Nuts and Raspberries
Lunch	Lunch out with Family	Shakeology w/ almond milk	Shakeology w/ almond milk	Shakeology w/ almond milk	Shakeology w/ almond milk	Shakeology w/ almond milk	Shakeology w/ almond milk
Snack	Shakeology w/ almond milk	Plain yogurt w/ Mixed Berries	Plain yogurt w/ Mixed Berries	Plain yogurt w/ Mixed Berries	Plain yogurt w/ Mixed Berries	Plain yogurt w/ Mixed Berries	Plain yogurt w/ Mixed Berries
Dinner	Canjun spiced fish Salad w/ dressing	Chili w/ Salad w/ dressing	Based Chicken w/ Roasted Broccoli	Pork Chops w/Sweet Potatoes	Stuffed Peppers Salad w/ dressing	Chicken Stirfry w/ Carrots, broccoli, snap peas	Out to Dinner!